The Real World.

I feel so torn. I have such great friends here, but I feel really emotional, especially at the moment for some reason. I really miss him… He’s so far away. Brian says that I should tell him that I like him and see if he likes me, but I feel like it’s the man’s place to pursue - not the woman’s. Time to pray about it a lot more. In any case, if I do tell him that I like him, it will be in person… so that means that I have about four months to think about it.

He’s only been gone a week.

Why do I feel this way.

My heart feels like it’s in two different places.

Could this be it? Or just a …really long crush?

Only the Lord knows.

I keep forgiving you over and over,

But I feel like nothing will be resolved

Until we talk through this.

I know you played me,

Looking back, I see what you were doing.

As soon as I said I wasn’t dating

You dropped me

As if we were never even really friends.

I trusted you, and we had good times

Looking back, I long so much to smile

On the time that we spent together

But when I look back,

I see that you were only playing games

Just being friends wasn’t your aim

You wanted something more.

Many a time

I have started to write to you

But then I look back

At previous messages you ignored.

And I try to erase my memory

But I’m left sitting here writing

Heartfelt poetry.

Should I keep trying to reach you

So that these wounds can heal?

I am not bitter, just wounded

I just wish I could get through to you.

So as much as this hurts me,

Maybe we won’t be able to talk about it.

But I hope you don’t hurt other girls

With your games.

And although I have written

This poem for you,

You probably won’t see it.

I like to think that

All of my presumptions are wrong

Maybe there’s something else going on.

In any case, this poem

Will be hidden from your eyes

So it can’t hurt you

Like you hurt me.

I literally got like two minutes of sleep last night.

I never want to be able to say that I pulled an all-nighter… so I’m going to say that this doesn’t count.

And then I slept on the plane on the way to Seattle this morning.

Anyway. I want to sleep some more. So I need to finish this paper. It’s due when I get to Costa Rica.

#deadlinesdeadlinesdeadlines. 

I need to wake up in three hours.  This is getting really real.

COSTA RICAAAAA.

(Does anyone even read this anymore?)

:P

There are four classes standing between me and Thanksgiving Break. Let’s do this.

Tonight, Sarah, Mark, Alanna, and I watched The Emperor’s New Groove.

Then later, I hung out with Sarah and Mark. I think we’re going to start a knitting club. ;)

Katie and I ran in slow motion across a room and embraced. I’ll miss that girl, but I get to see her again in a week!

*Josh and I hug*
Me:  ”You’re really warm.”
Josh:  ”I increased my body temperature just for you.”
haha oh my goodness.  

I love Warren people. And Whitworth people. And you.

I just went up there, and they were actually rearranging two of their rooms.

Haha. oh man…

I am certain that the boys above me move their furniture around every. single. day.